

Recap-rant of Breaking DawnBreaking Dawn: the fanfictioning.Recap-rant of Breaking Dawn
So weve made it to the end of Twilight. Its been a long and tiring journey full of fail and loves that have never loved before. And *SPARKLES.* We only have to trudge through Breaking Fail. Now this book is the epitome of fail. I fear that I may not make it through. If I dont, please remember me for who I was. The woman that recapped all the books for you and died doing so, so you wont have to.
So lets go back for a second to remember times past. Insert wavy lines here for flashback effects.
Twilight: Bell


Eclipse recap-rantAbusive sparkly boyfriend and Super-duper Mary-sue the book! Part 3.Eclipse recap-rant
To recap New Moon: Eddy is pretty and leaves Bella, Jacob becomes a doggy, nothing can freaking kill Bella, Bella leads Jake on, Ed attempts suicide by sparkling, and Eddy and Bella get back together without so much as a glare from Bella-sue. Oh and Bella is still a bitch to her dad.
This book seems to have a whole lot more of nothing in this book, so I feel this is going to be a bit longer than the other two. So just to warn you, this might be a longer read.
I have put on my robe and wizard hat. Im ready to do this.  


Recap-rant of New MoonMr. Sparkle-pants part duex! Ok, so to recap Twilight: Bella moves herself to Washington, complains the whole way there, treats her dad like crap, meets perfect controlling Eddykins, they love each other and are full of love, Bella-sue is almost eaten and Edward has some serious mood swings.Recap-rant of New Moon
I think that's about right. Now we move to New Moon! I had loads of fun writing the last review/rant so I'm going to do all the books. Everyone should feel like Bella! Speshul.
Let's begin.
Cue the dream sequence! In this dream Bella's subconscious realizes that Edward is a control freak. She's an old lad


Review-rant of twilightI was bored and felt the need to write this out. First off, I have read all the Twilight books. Three times actually. I wanted to know why some people would say that Its the best book ever!! and SMeyer is a genius! etc. After reading the quartet for the third time, I still think its just an Anne Rice AU fan fiction gone horribly, horribly wrong.Review-rant of twilight
For now Im going to write a review for just the book Twilight. Later if I feel like it, Ill do the other three. So lets do this.
SMeyer starts off by telling us all the details of Bellas departure. First off,


Twilight the TeacherA list of what I have "learned" from Stephenie Meyer and Twilight.Twilight the Teacher
-You don't need an original plot to have a bestseller -If you are going to write about a mythological creature, don't have any reference to folklore. Make up your own. -Never research!!! -A romance novel doesn't need two characters who share any amount of chemistry -Waiting to have sex after your married is commendable, even if the two people aren't in a healthy relationship or even compatible. -Why bother with giving your main character a personality? She can be a Mary-Sue and no one will care. -You

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~Alchemic-Artists Joiiiin Usssss
=vector-artists Vectorize the world!
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Cherish your dreams for they are the blueprint of your house of pain!
"If one wishes to debate a Twihard at close range(<50m), full riot police gear is required, preferably with a Smith and Wesson .500 at the hip for emergency situations."
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Cherish your dreams for they are the blueprint of your house of pain!
"If one wishes to debate a Twihard at close range(<50m), full riot police gear is required, preferably with a Smith and Wesson .500 at the hip for emergency situations."
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WARNING: Proceed with caution. Danger of falling lamps -- please wear a helmet.
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Cherish your dreams for they are the blueprint of your house of pain!
"If one wishes to debate a Twihard at close range(<50m), full riot police gear is required, preferably with a Smith and Wesson .500 at the hip for emergency situations."
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