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Recap-rant of Breaking DawnBreaking Dawn: the fanfictioning.Recap-rant of Breaking Dawn
So we’ve made it to the end of Twilight. It’s been a long and tiring journey full of fail and loves that have never loved before. And *SPARKLES.* We only have to trudge through Breaking Fail. Now this book is the epitome of fail. I fear that I may not make it through. If I don’t, please remember me for who I was. The woman that recapped all the books for you and died doing so, so you won’t have to.
So let’s go back for a second to remember times past. Insert wavy lines here for flashback effects.
Twilight: Bell
by ~suteneko01
Eclipse recap-rantAbusive sparkly boyfriend and Super-duper Mary-sue the book! Part 3.Eclipse recap-rant
To recap New Moon: Eddy is pretty and leaves Bella, Jacob becomes a doggy, nothing can freaking kill Bella, Bella leads Jake on, Ed attempts suicide by sparkling, and Eddy and Bella get back together without so much as a glare from Bella-sue. Oh and Bella is still a bitch to her dad.
This book seems to have a whole lot more of nothing in this book, so I feel this is going to be a bit longer than the other two. So just to warn you, this might be a longer read.
I have put on my robe and wizard hat. I’m ready to do this.
by ~suteneko01
Recap-rant of New MoonMr. Sparkle-pants part duex! Ok, so to recap Twilight: Bella moves herself to Washington, complains the whole way there, treats her dad like crap, meets perfect controlling Eddykins, they love each other and are full of love, Bella-sue is almost eaten and Edward has some serious mood swings.Recap-rant of New Moon
I think that's about right. Now we move to New Moon! I had loads of fun writing the last review/rant so I'm going to do all the books. Everyone should feel like Bella! Speshul.
Let's begin.
Cue the dream sequence! In this dream Bella's subconscious realizes that Edward is a control freak. She's an old lad
by ~suteneko01
Review-rant of twilightI was bored and felt the need to write this out. First off, I have read all the Twilight books. Three times actually. I wanted to know why some people would say that “It’s the best book ever!!” and “SMeyer is a genius!” etc. After reading the quartet for the third time, I still think it’s just an Anne Rice AU fan fiction gone horribly, horribly wrong.Review-rant of twilight
For now I’m going to write a review for just the book Twilight. Later if I feel like it, I’ll do the other three. So… let’s do this.
SMeyer starts off by telling us all the details of Bella’s departure. First off,
by ~suteneko01
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Twilight the TeacherA list of what I have "learned" from Stephenie Meyer and Twilight.Twilight the Teacher
-You don't need an original plot to have a bestseller -If you are going to write about a mythological creature, don't have any reference to folklore. Make up your own. -Never research!!! -A romance novel doesn't need two characters who share any amount of chemistry -Waiting to have sex after your married is commendable, even if the two people aren't in a healthy relationship or even compatible. -Why bother with giving your main character a personality? She can be a Mary-Sue and no one will care. -You
by *JLMacDonald
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JoyJournal History
- Jul 8, 2009 TF2
- May 19, 2009 Video of... doom I suppose :D
- May 9, 2009 ehehe
- Apr 12, 2009 i just saw DB:E...
- Mar 19, 2009 so sleepy
- Nov 15, 2008 =3
- Sep 28, 2008 Stop Uwe Boll :D
- Aug 31, 2008 :(
- Mar 9, 2008 Hey guess what...
- Nov 21, 2007 STOLE'D
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Cherish your dreams for they are the blueprint of your house of pain!
"If one wishes to debate a Twihard at close range(<50m), full riot police gear is required, preferably with a Smith and Wesson .500 at the hip for emergency situations."
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Cherish your dreams for they are the blueprint of your house of pain!
"If one wishes to debate a Twihard at close range(<50m), full riot police gear is required, preferably with a Smith and Wesson .500 at the hip for emergency situations."
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Cherish your dreams for they are the blueprint of your house of pain!
"If one wishes to debate a Twihard at close range(<50m), full riot police gear is required, preferably with a Smith and Wesson .500 at the hip for emergency situations."
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